"No guns. No killing." 
Batman 
Juana Galan, 1808
When in 1808, Napoleon realized he had forgotten to attack his southern Spanish neighbors, he dispatched troops and began the Peninsular War. Galan was working as a barmaid and, seeing the imminent invasion, gathered the women of the village and staged a trap for the invading French Troops. Most of the men were fighting elsewhere in the nation, but she and the village’s women made the French troops turn tail and run with buckets of boiling oil, water, and wielding bats rather than guns.

"No guns. No killing." 

Batman 

Juana Galan, 1808

When in 1808, Napoleon realized he had forgotten to attack his southern Spanish neighbors, he dispatched troops and began the Peninsular War. Galan was working as a barmaid and, seeing the imminent invasion, gathered the women of the village and staged a trap for the invading French Troops. Most of the men were fighting elsewhere in the nation, but she and the village’s women made the French troops turn tail and run with buckets of boiling oil, water, and wielding bats rather than guns.

"Why is the rum always gone?"
Anne Bonney, circa 1719

"Why is the rum always gone?"

Anne Bonney, circa 1719

"Sometimes it’s hard to find the words to say, I’ll go ahead and say them anyway.  Forget your balls and grow a pair of tits."
Queen Elizabeth I, 1558

"Sometimes it’s hard to find the words to say, I’ll go ahead and say them anyway.  Forget your balls and grow a pair of tits."

Queen Elizabeth I, 1558

"Live fast, die young, bad girls do it well!"
Boudica, 61 AD

"Live fast, die young, bad girls do it well!"

Boudica, 61 AD

Re: Anon Asks and Translations

So I just received an anonymous ask about translating the “quotes” into foreign languages, for non-English speakers.

Whoever sent this-you are welcome to translate!

I only ask that you provide credit to the original site (actualhistoryquotes.) I love the idea of spreading the humor. Laughter is universal, regardless of language.

As for anon messages:

Forgive me if this sounds like John Adams-Alien-and-Sedition-Acts Paranoia, but I am aware that there is a virus spreading around tumblr (apparently) and I read that answering anonymous asks could be a gateway for the virus. I have no idea if this is true or not but I’d rather be safe than sorry. I hope this doesn’t bother the anon who sent the ask in. and if that anon was actually a virus than John Adams saved the grades for my online math class

Stay virtuous and virus free, my friends! I’ll have more quotes up soon.

"Everything the light touches is your kingdom."
Hamlet, William Shakespeare, 1599

"Everything the light touches is your kingdom."

Hamlet, William Shakespeare, 1599

poorbasil said: I'm so happy I found your blog; I love it!

Oh, you!

I am equally happy that you found the blog and enjoy it so much. 

"We don’t need no education." 
Thomas Jefferson, 1819

"We don’t need no education." 

Thomas Jefferson, 1819

"I knew you were trouble when you walked in."
Thomas Jefferson to Alexander Hamilton, 1795

"I knew you were trouble when you walked in."

Thomas Jefferson to Alexander Hamilton, 1795

"Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a- alcohol."
Ernest Hemingway, circa 1920

"Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a- alcohol."

Ernest Hemingway, circa 1920